The extraction chugged. Episode 1: “The Wars to Come.” Grainy, but watchable. Episode 2: audio desync – characters’ mouths moved three seconds after their words, making Cersei look like a badly dubbed villain (which, Tyrion noted, was actually an improvement). Episode 3 froze halfway through. Jorah slammed the laptop.

The laptop never answered.

“ERROR: Character_Arc.exe has stopped working. Sansa.dll not found. Replaced with ‘Suffering_Prop_v2.3.’ Continue?”

Tyrion choked on his wine. “Gods. Even the file knows.”